gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
