Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
It all started with a game of naked twister.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
