so explain again why im purple
no
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
