therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
