is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Randomize
