She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
