I look better un-naked...
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
