and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
