I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
