And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
