Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
