I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
