Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
