Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
he puts the penis in happiness.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Randomize
