you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
