I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
send nudes
from the living room?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
