Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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