i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
