what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
