I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Randomize
