My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
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