Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
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