ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
