i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
