I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
