How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
HIV tests are more positive than that guy
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
