What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
