I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
