Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Randomize
