someone owes me an orgasm
I wish you could order shots online.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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