I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
