Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
