my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Randomize
