called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
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