I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
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