one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize