I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
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