he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Randomize
