a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
