Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
