Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize