Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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