i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
The Olympian is in my bed
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize