GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Randomize
