dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
