So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
