This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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