wat bout pragnant strippers??
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
