If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
