Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
