By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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