btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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