i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
