I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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