It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
