you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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