waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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