I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize
