Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
