FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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