Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
