Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
